The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage is an act of Christian worship. The service takes place in the same setting and with the same careful attention to the Book of Common Prayer as do all our worship services. If you are not already a member of St. Mary's, do attend Sunday worship frequently enough that you feel comfortable with the community, the worship service and the clergy to become members, making this your spiritual home now and after your marriage.
Your first step is to introduce yourself to one of the clergy and make an appointment for an initial interview. During that appointment, the date of the wedding shall be set. In addition, the dates and process for your premarital counseling will be determined. At the preliminary interview please also bring the completed application form and your deposit.
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It is required by our canon law that at least one of the couple be baptized in any Christian denomination. If neither of you are baptized, please discuss this with your clergy. If this is a remarriage for either bride or groom, please bring a certified copy of your final dissolution papers to your initial interview.
Planning Details St. Mary's clergy and altar guild will work with you to ensure that all aspects of your wedding fit our liturgical setting. The order of service for the Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage is found in the 1979 Book of Common Prayer on pages 423 through 438. Any additions or omissions must be approved by the officiating clergy. External consultants or coordinators are not included in the planning or wedding rehearsal. The placement of all flowers, the selection of music, the use of photography, and the wedding service itself must all follow the church's guidelines. Our liturgy is rich in symbols of unity and love, and for the integrity of the ceremony, there are customs from other traditions we do not practice such as unity candles, the smashing of a wine glass, throwing of rice or petals, aisle runners. During your premarital counseling sessions your clergy will discuss the ceremony and symbols to support your vows. It is usually possible for guest clergy to participate in the prayers, readings, or homily, but the couple should review this with the officiating St. Mary's clergy as soon as possible. For details about seating, please see the seating calculator sheet.
Music in the church is an offering to the glory of God. St. Mary's organist/choirmaster, Michael Secour, plays for all weddings. Please call him directly to schedule a meeting to select the music. He does not attend the rehearsal. When he is not available to play, he arranges a substitute. We do not generally permit guest organists. We encourage your suggestions and requests, including the use of supplemental instruments. However, our organist in consultation with the clergy will make the final decision on what is permissible - for example, opera choruses, such as Here Comes the Bride, are not considered appropriate. Vocal solos and other performances not inherent to the liturgy itself are appropriate before the wedding ceremony. Please contact Mr. Secour soon after your preliminary interview.
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Photographers and Videographers must sign the agreement and return it to the officiating clergy at least one week prior to the wedding. Please read the agreement and understand that it applies to guests as well as professional photographers. Flash photography is not permitted during the service, either by guests or by a professional. For 30 minutes immediately following the service, posed flash photography is permitted.
A reception in the parish hall is possible, please discuss this with the parish administrator. He will have you fill out a space request form, listing number of tables and chairs needed and desired setup. There is an additional fee for hall use and custodian's services. Catering services, including beverages, food, china, crystal, flatware, napkins, tablecloths, etc., are not included. Alcoholic beverages are permitted, proved they are served by one or more adults, and ample and equally attractive non-alcoholic beverages are also available.
Floral arrangements for the church are limited to altar flowers and window boxes. Pew bouquets, or wreaths, or additional arrangements or furniture are not permitted. Please see the Floral Guidelines for sizes and delivery details. All flowers remain in the church following the ceremony. Bouquets next to a guestbook at the entrance, or external door wreaths are fine, however we cannot assume responsibility for them prior to the wedding. Notecards depicting the beautiful artwork that graces the altar at St. Mary's are available for purchase. These make perfect "thank you" cards for your guests.
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What is asked of you - We welcome those who seek God's presence in their married life and who desire to be a part of a faith community. In marrying at St. Mary's you are participating in a sacrament witnessed and supported by your family, friends and this faith community. Treating the church as a rental hall or stage misses the point of the church witnessing and blessing the marriage. Our church stands strong and alive as a sacred place because countless volunteer hours, innumerable sacrifices and decades of strong community financial support have cared for it.
You have chosen to have a Christian marriage-this means your union is part of the body of Christ and it deserves nurturing and attention quite different from a civil union. If you want to be married at St. Mary's, you are indicating a desire to participate as members of this community and to be nurtured by its ongoing fellowship.
The fees requested for weddings cover practical expenses of the church (organist, altar guild, overhead expenses) and respect the support this faith community has provided. Therefore, if you or your immediate family have been pledging members of St. Mary's for the last two years, we request a fee of $750 to cover the practical immediate expenses of the church for your wedding. It is custom and courtesy to give a thank offering (to the priest and/or church), and of course, that gift is up to your discretion.
For those who have been participating (pledging and attending) at St. Mary's less than two years, we request an amount equivalent to an average year's initial pledge plus the practical fee of $2,000.
Please discuss your situation with your clergy if these fees present a hardship. A deposit of $250 is requested upon setting the date, with the balance due by your wedding date.
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Arrival on your wedding day. Your fee reserves the church and courtyards for your use for 1 hour prior to your wedding and for 30 minutes after the service for photographs. If additional time is needed before or after the wedding, make arrangements with the parish administrator as soon as possible. Our church is a busy place used in many ways and confirmed reservation of space is crucial. For requests outside of our usual scheduling, additional fees are requested to compensate custodial staffing. Please keep in mind there is no formal "Bride's Dressing Room", however, the bride and bridesmaid are welcome to prepare and wait in the upstairs conference room.
Parking in the immediate neighborhood is very limited. Public garages are located at 1910 Union at Laguna, Lombard and Webster Streets (entrance on Moulton Alley off Webster), and at 2001 Union Street at Buchanan. You may wish to mention on the invitation that guests should allow extra time for parking and/or you may include a map showing garage locations. Valet parking is desirable for large weddings.
Seating Capacity is 210 in the church downstairs and 25 in the balcony. Each pew seats 6 adults snugly. By prior arrangement and additional custodial fee, 25 folding chairs can be set up in the church. The choir pews may be used to accommodate 23 adults. See seating calculator sheet for further details.
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